“Oh, you should have seen what I did to my husband last night,” the bartender says as he takes two stiff shots of vodka to calm his shakes before service begins for the night.
It seemed like everyone in the restaurant business had a drug problem of sort. Booze, pain pills, meth, crank, steroids, even cough syrup. One guy kept a bottle of NyQuil in his back pocket as one would carry a flask or a wallet. He casually takes a swig, offers some to whoever he is talking to, and goes about his business to perform gardening or maintenance tasks.
One tweeker who everyone calls “Hooker” behind her back gets absolutely ripped and does a thousand little chores. The boss thought it was nice to have someone so committed to work and organize things around the place. She had a laissez faire attitude about the drug use. She knew from experience that folks can do completely acceptable work and manage their addictions simultaneously. That was the difference between a functional drug user or alcoholic and someone who had gone over the edge.
Hooker cleaned and organized the front bar, the back bar, the beer case, and the wait station. She was down on her hands and knees getting every nook and cranny clean. One day she painted the bathroom with a giant Georgia O’Keefe like flower mural. She even customized the boss’ parking space with Egyptian symbols for prosperity and protection.
One night at the end of service the staff put in their requests for dinner. Hooker had really been working hard for days doing extra work and missing out from not being on the floor or behind the bar to get the tips she needed to survive her habit. She asked the boss if it would be alright for her to order the special half roast chicken with garlic mashed potatoes, and saute’ed mixed vegetables.
The boss said, “Sure!” thinking of all the work Hooker had accomplished during the week.
The cook said, “No!” and that was the beginning of all the problems.
When the boss tried to explain how hard Hooker had been working all week, the chef ripped off her apron and quit on the spot. Now the boss would expect Jack to do the cooking. Jack had cooked before, but it was at a hamburger joint, not a dinner house where you had to prepare the steaks at a certain temperature, and thaw the fish before offering it on the menu.
They had a huge event planned for the next day. The place was sold out for a special concert. Jack was in a panic. They should have planned to cut the menu down to five choices: the roasted half chicken, hamburgers, a baked fish fillet, a simple steak, and a big lasagna that could simply be cut and served… otherwise known as “poop and scoop” in the business. These changes would have made a big difference, but the boss insisted that they keep the full menu.
The place was packed. The mood was festive and the drinks were flowing. Jack recruited two of the bussers who had a clue to help him in the kitchen. The show must go on!
The kitchen was like a war zone with Jack at the helm assisted by two of the Seven Dwarfs. (Happy and Grumpy) One lady sent her fish back three times because it wasn’t cooked to her satisfaction. She finally gave up and told the boss how personally disappointed she was in the service and the quality of the food.
The boss was as devastated as a contestant on a reality show who has been blindsided. She gave away a lot of freebies that night; free dessert, free drinks, free gift certificates…. This business was like driving the Titanic, you never knew what was lurking out there in the dark, deep cold sea.
(First published 6/11/12)
