She gets the phone message from her dentist that she is due for a cleaning. This doesn’t bother her at all in the first place because she really likes her dentist. He is a roly poly bear cub of a man, jovial and dedicated to his work. He is friendly and passionate about his art which true dentistry is.
Many dentists dabble in the art of jewelry making as a hobby since they are trained to work with both silver and gold. She likes the idea of her mouth being attended to by a jeweler. But that receptionist has to go!
She looks nice enough; long blond hair, comely features, but a German accent and a bad attitude combine to make her forbidding on the phone. In her deepest growly monster vampire voice, Brunhilda leaves a message, “You have an appointment with Dr. Jones on Wednesday, June 6th, at 4:00 PM. You have 24 hours to cancel or reschedule this appointment… or else you will be charged.”
Kristie sneers back over the phone as she listens to the message, ” Call 869-0666. I hate you and I hope you die!” Dr. Jones is such a fun guy, but his office is filled with monsters and a succubus.
As if this isn’t enough to scare her out of going, when Kristie arrives for her appointment, the new hygienist meets her at reception. She looks like Sharon Needles. Even though it is almost summer she wears a black turtle neck, a tight fitting dark blue lab coat with a Mandarin collar, black leggings, and black stiletto boots. Kristie just knows that her entire body must be covered with elaborate tattoos under all the layers of clothing she is wearing.
The hygeinist follows a script and has the same scary monster authoritarian voice as the receptionist, “Open your mouth,” she demands in a whisper.
“Turn your head.”
“Now spit.”
“You must get the full mouth xrays,” she demands.
“You must floss everyday,” she orders.
“You have one cavity.”
“You’ll have to come back,” she leers satisfied at having found a flaw.
Kristie is finally relieved when she sees her jovial dentist appear for the final inspection. He is chatty, talks about his family… his little boys, his wife… Kristy thinks his wife must also be a kind of thin vampirish looking creature.
“Why does he surround himself with these dominatrix types when he is so agreeable?” she asks Jack.
“Because he likes it,” Jack says smiling. “Open your mouth, little girl.”
“I’ll gladly open my mouth for you anytime,” she says purring to Jack, but she is really thinking about her dentist… “ Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones… We gotta thing going on…”
(First published 7/9/12)
