Dear Sirs,
Your Panasonic Panabrator Ultra Panasonic Reach Easy Powerful Full Body Massager has been my favorite for twenty years. Unfortunately it has been well used and I need to upgrade. It is beginning to wheeze.
A friend has recommended that I change the batteries in my replacement. It doesn’t do the trick unfortunately. I need a plug in.
Do you know how many women favor this massager for sexual purposes? There is nothing like it. The battery operated dildos and vibrators do not have the power I am looking for.
Please help me.
Sincerely,
XXX
PS I need a plug in… it’s either that or I’m going to rent a gas powered generator and park it outside my bedroom.
If you go online (eBay or Amazon) you will find lots of people looking for and selling this special massage unit. Some women have put in bids of up to $250 for a USED(!) one. The picture in the ads shows them yellowing with age. Still, some desperate woman with an unrequited love for the powerful vaginal stimulation giant will pay that and probably more!
The “used” part of it, she doesn’t like. You really can’t completely sterilize a sexual toy. The vaginal juices seep into the corners and crevices of the instrument making it impossible. Every woman should have their own personal implements not to be used or shared by anyone else.
Come to the party! But bring your own stimulation. She won’t share. She has an entire drawer of purchased failures. That purple battery operated one featured on several episodes of “Oprah” is useless. She needed power! Plug her in!
The sparkle-y dildo penis looking hand held is soft at the tip and does have a nice gentle buzz on the clitoris. It is fun to insert and move about, but when it is “time to get off” she wants the full on giant headed Panasonic Panabrator personal massager.
None of these double entry G-spot appliances that look like Medusa unchained are for her. She doesn’t believe in the whole G-spot or squirting myths. She has never found her G-spot… and women don’t squirt, they just have to pee.
Costco used to sell the Panabrator around Christmas time as a potential gift. She actually got hers as a gift from her in-laws…. If only they knew how many women bought or received one just to discover the magic that it held within its white plastic facade.
“Press! Press! Press!” she orders her partner at the height of her sexual frenzy. “Harder! Lower! Press!” she’s almost there…. Bring in the jack hammer!
The machine is going as fast as it can. She loves it so much that she thinks she will swallow the whole thing up her twat by mistake. Some day they may find her dead with a smile on her face and that giant beast stuck between her legs. “Flip me over, I’m not dead yet,” she will write as a warning in her memoirs.
She receives a nice letter back from the company,
“Dear Mrs,
We are happy that our product has offered you so much satisfaction over the years. We have discontinued manufacturing this unit. May we suggest the purple headed Point Percussion or the Easy Reach Green Roller?
Sincerely,
Yada Yada Yada”
Desperation sets in. She figured to live at least another twenty years more. What was she going to do now? She had looked at these products before and the thought of the hard plastic roller or pointer in her most sensitive folds alarmed her.
She would keep looking until she found something to her liking. Her drawer full of failed attempts would possibly grow into a second or third drawer she imagined. Thousands of dollars spent on personal pleasure… It was worth it.
“Hmmm, bzzzzzz…ahhhh…I want to cum again!”
