Mother had been ill and was moving to an assisted care facility. Brother called her exasperated by the chore of cleaning out Mother’s house. It was quite a job after fifty years of accumulation.
He threw out Dad’s old Playboy collection which was probably worth thousands. He tossed out all the boxes of music, librettos, and programs from the hundreds of shows Dad had either been in or directed. He had finally given up sorting through it all and said, “Toss it. Throw it. Out…” so many times he just couldn’t think anymore.
Finally it was finished, cleaned out, ready to be painted, new carpet installed, and sold… The Old Homestead. In this modern age fifty years instead of five hundred. Our lives have expanded in many ways and yet diminished.
“Did you know that she had naked pictures of Hawaiian guys hanging in her closet?” Brother asked.
“Oh, I guess that was her masturbation closet,” she joked back inappropriately as usual. She laughed at her own joke like always amuse myself was her motto.
“Do you know I found a dildo in her bed side table?”
“Oh I sent that to her as a joke after I went to one of those women’s lingerie parties.” Her jokes were falling flat at this point.
“Well, it seemed like she was using it since there was a tube of lube in there too.”
“Well, a woman needs a companion… It’s my version of assisted care.”
“…and who is that guy she’s in the picture with?”
“That was a cute valet she was smitten with on one of our trips to Hawaii… Nothing to worry about. It was just a fantasy.” (She thought she might have to attend another one of those lingerie parties and send her mom another assisted care package.)
(First published 11/30/11)
