She is doing the household chores: beds, laundry, dishes, etc. She takes off her nightgown and throws it in the dirty pile even though she’s only worn it once. Why? “Why did I do that,?”she asks herself. Why? “Why? Because I’m the fucking Center of the Universe, that’s why. I deserve to wear a clean nightie every night if I want to. I AM the Center of the Universe and YOU should feel that way about yourself too,” she says to her reflection in the mirror.
She is thinking about some conversation she either has or has not had with any of her children lately. They are off in their Flying Stage and not very communicative unless it is to ask for money or complain about some new issue that has come up in their young lives. “Why are you so selfish? You think you are the Center of the Universe,” her recalcitrant offspring announces before hanging up on her.
Well, she had been the Center of their Universe for many, many years. She provided food, shelter, education, enrichment, coaching, and encouragement for at least two decades. Now they were all out of the nest flying on their own, but occasionally checking back in for reassurance and an errant snipe or two.
Sometime in their late twenties or thirties your adult children begin to question their parents’ choices, their bad habits, their religion, their style of childrearing…. This is normal. Do not freak out. The final break is occurring. The little bird has grown to the size of a big feathered Sesame Street character. They will finally, no finally, fly away to be on their own.
It is not a pleasant process when the once dependent flock begins to challenge and peck at the parents who raised them. On issues like drug and alcohol use, sex and dating, chances are you have done everything wrong according to the kids. And furthermore, now that they have their own children, their/your child rearing comes into question.
Choose one:
- Shoulda
- Woulda
- Coulda
- More Strict
- Less Strict
The Rules according to our family were:
- Education is mandatory. We all go to school.
- Free talk about sex. No secrets, no lies. Just the facts.
- If you do it, use protection. Condoms are in the bathroom cupboard.
- Cussing to make a point in a story is proper use of profanity.
- Cussing out your mother, fucker, is not gonna be good.
- Cussing at school, church, or with grandma has consequences.
- Candy, sodas, and chips are OK in limited amounts.
- Vegetables, fruit, and salads are a good part of every meal.
- Playing outside with friends is great!
- Swimming, Sports, Dancing, and Theater are FUN!
- We like to party! But no drugs or alcohol until you are legal.
- Singing is something we do in this family. No arguments.
- We take weekend enrichment field trips and vacations together.
- We love nature, animals, and gardening.
- Religion and politics are topics for discussion, not belief.
- We participate in our community. We volunteer.
- Everyone works. Everyone helps.
- We hug, we kiss, we say, “I love you.”
She makes another bed, picks up a pile of laundry, begins the preparation for dinner, and then thinks… “Hey, it’s just me and the old man now… Fuck it, let’s go out to dinner! Mama IS the Center of the fucking Universe!”
(First published 8/14/13)
