It was like something out of a Cheech and Chong movie. Creetus and his brother had just finished sharing a joint in the living room. She was busy caring for her babies. Her son was just a newborn, less than a month old. Her daughter, with the big blue eyes and the wispy blond hair was about two. She was nursing the baby, while sitting with her daughter who was drinking a bottle.
The smell of marijuana was a permanent fixture at their house. Creetus smoked it like cigarettes – two packs a day. Incense was usually burned to mask the smell, but today since it was only 10:00 AM, they weren’t expecting anyone, so none was burning.
There was a knock on the door – three strong raps. Creetus looked up from his constant daze and took a peek out the window. “It’s the man!” he whispered. Everyone was quiet… holding their breath. There was another series of raps: one, two, three…
“You get the door,” Creetus shot a glance at his brother.”
“No, YOU get the door!” his brother shot back without hesitation.
They both looked at the nursing mother and said simultaneously, “No… YOU get the door!”
She sighed heavily, tucked her breast away, and got up babe in arms to answer the door. “FBI, ma’am,” the two men said simultaneously as they flashed their ID badges. They were both smiling and trying to suppress the urge to laugh. “We’re looking for _______________.”
“He’s in Mexico working on his new beach house,” she explained. “He’s our landlord.”
“Do you have his address?” they asked.
“I send the rent to a PO box,” she explained and gave them the address.
Through this whole interview, baby in arms, toddler drinking out of a bottle holding onto her skirt, marijuana wafting… the two stoners crouching behind the door barely breathing…
“What about ____________?” They asked about a woman no one had heard of. She glanced over at the two crouching hidden hippies. They both shook their heads, “No” and didn’t mutter a word.
It was the longest five minutes of her life… just like Cheech and Chong…
“Dave’s not here, man.”
(First published 8/18/11)
