He really wasn’t much to look at, but he was funny and smart and shy and he sang off key and he was her First Love. She was thirteen; he was nineteen – not exactly a match since she wasn’t allowed to date yet. But her dad relented when First Love came to him directly and asked permission to take her out on a double date to see a play at a local theater company.
Her dad holds the date over her head and makes her work all day in the yard cutting down the over-grown oleander bushes in the back. She practically gets heat stroke, but she is so excited that she can hardly stand it. This is the one boy she would give in to and go all the way with.
Her dad’s inspection of her work revealed several piles of oleander clippings stacked four feet high. He isn’t really happy at this over kill, but he nods his assent and she heads for the shower.
She chokes down a bowl of Rice Krispies with skim milk and one scant teaspoon of sugar and then begins to apply her make up: just a little light lipstick, some eyeliner and mascara – the big eye look was in. Hoping for some foreplay in the backseat of the car, she dressed carefully for the occasion: mini skirt, short heeled slip off sandals, sleeveless blouse with buttons down the front, white bra and panties.
She can’t even begin to concentrate on the play because the whole time she is thinking, “His knee is touching me… his arm is pressing up against me… he laughed… why doesn’t he take my hand… or something….”
She hopes they will go somewhere and park so she can work her magic on him. Few boys could resist her, really. She was deep into a fantasy about kissing him, breathing into his ear, whispering to him how much she has wanted this to happen….. She was definitely going to let him feel her up and finger her if he wanted to. She was in fantasy land through the whole show and really horny!
On the way home – straight to her home – there was a lot of uncomfortable joking about her turning into a pumpkin. (Ha, ha – Not!) When they pulled into her driveway, the porch light was still off.
“Oh, good,” she thought, “Maybe now we can at least get a kiss good night and press into him close as she had been wanting to do all night….
But just at that moment, her mother popped out of the front door, turned on the porch light, and called out,”Surprise!” She was Crushed.
Months later at a cast party, First Love, a little drunk, caught her in the hallway, pressed up against her hard and kissed her deeply with full passion. She remembers that kiss decades in the future….Her First Love.
Three years later he comes to visit her dad for some advice, a recommendation, and an announcement. He is joining the Navy and getting married. He makes this announcement to her in front of her current boyfriend who is no slouch – a Blond Honey with a cool green Triumph Spitfire…. But Blond Honey is nothing compared to her First Love. She would drop everything and run away with him right now if it were possible.
“Congratulations,” Blond Honey says to First Love as they shake hands. She just sneers and shows her youthful inability to hide her feelings. She shrugs and leaves the room to go hide in the bath.
Three years ago she remembers the note she stuck into his tattered VW Bug where he could see it. It said something like, “I really love you. I would do anything for you. Please call me. Love, xxoo”
She never heard from him. No phone calls. No notes. Nothing! And now he was getting married to a girl he fell in love with because she was crying on a bus after MLK was assassinated. “Are you serious?” She argues with herself. “I cried too, you know? I even wore a piece of black ribbon pinned to the collar of my waitress uniform! And I didn’t even get any tips that day because of it! And I would write to you everyday while you are in the Navy! Why can’t you love me? Why can’t you wait for me? Why can’t we be lovers?” Damn. #Crushed
(Originally published 7/22/11)
