Don’t take this the wrong way, but every woman is a whore. Women know exactly what they must do to make their husbands happy. Women know how to get a man to do what they want and need. They may have to give a little something or change their behavior in order to get it, and that is where the whore part comes in. You know what I’m talking about?
Mrs. Jones had some problems with her wifely duties. She was an educated woman who held down a full time job and was raising two kids. She had responsibilities. She felt as if she deserved more.
Mr. Jones worked as a reporter for a nationally known newspaper. He was always out chasing ambulances for his next lead. Successful as writers go, he had a full time job that paid reasonably well. Occasionally he got a by- line feature on the front page. He felt as if he was successful.
Mrs. Jones didn’t agree. She thought Mr. Jones was boring. Always watching the news on his knees twelve inches away from the set as if he was worshipping at the alter! The damn thing! He liked to watch multiple channels simultaneously. He sat with his fingers on the buttons of the remote progressing through his favorite line up of stations: CNN, CBS, NPR….
Sometimes he would watch the stations he didn’t like also just to see what the other side was up to. She was frustrated as hell. Why couldn’t he be like one of the heroes in the romance novels she liked to read?
She decided she would have another child to occupy herself. She wasn’t going to tell him about it. She calculated her calendar to see where she was in her menstrual cycle. She had always wanted three children.
Mr. Jones was a very handsome man and he made cute babies, so she figured, “Why not?” This would be her last child, her baby. “Yes, this will work out quite nicely,” she told herself. Little did she know at the time that this third child would never know their father.
She had a plan. It was his birthday. It was going to be perfect. She would make her hubby a surprise. She cooked all his favorite foods, baked a cake, and bought him the new cell phone he had been wanting. Then she put the kids to bed and did the dishes so he could relax in front of his favorite past time: Television News. Something was always going on that was more interesting to him than she was.
Still, she knew how to get to him. She put on her sexy red negligee, brushed out her long black hair, dabbed on some perfume and approached him where he sat in his recliner in front of the 10:00 o’clock news, which was the same as the 3:00 o’clock news, the 5:00 o’clock news, the 6:00 o’clock news, and the 8:00 o’clock news. But he didn’t care. He just loved news!
She crept up on him and began her seduction. “This is going to be easy,” she thought to herself. He was unaware of what would happen next. They had sex. Jesus! They hadn’t had sex in maybe a year and a half! This was to be his lucky day. He couldn’t believe it! This was the missing piece of their teetering marriage. Sex! He really couldn’t remember when the last time was.
How happy he was that night! They hadn’t even moved to the bedroom. They did it right on the couch in the living room! She had made him so happy! Sucked his cock and everything. Maybe things would work out after all?
The next day things were back to normal. The nagging, avoidance, and snide remarks were back on the table. Was it really too much to ask for some kindness from his own wife? He had no intentions of leaving, but once she found out she was pregnant and everything was OK with the fetus, she asked for a divorce.
He couldn’t believe it. That little bitch had tricked him. Now he would be paying child support for three kids. This final act of her contrived betrayal led him to hate the child. It wasn’t the child’s fault. Pregnancy and labor was easy for Mrs. Jones. The beautiful pale skinned darling with a curly mop of black hair was born quickly and without incident in the back of her van at a stop sign on the way to the hospital.
He couldn’t bear to look at the child without the reminder of how she came to be. He was tricked, duped… but that didn’t mean anything to the judge who ordered him to pay up. He shook his head in disgust each month for eighteen years as he wrote out the cheque. “Every woman is a whore,” he muttered to himself.
(First published May 28, 2013)
