All the generations of women were gathering in celebration of their daughters who were coming of age. They would be talking about their own experiences as a way of passing oral history down to the young girls who were curious to know the story of their grandmothers’ fight for sexual freedom. The Girls were ready to begin exploring their own sexuality. There would be choices to make.
Great Grandma began by relating her own experience. “For me it was both frightening and exciting. I had seen animals mate and I knew about the process, but there was no love between Abe and I yet. That part would come later. I had never kissed a boy before we met, but he had experience with some of the local Mexican prostitutes which is why his father and mother sent for me in the first place. They wanted a proper wife for him to begin raising a family.”
As the rest of the women settled in around her, she continued, “I had never met him or put eyes on him before our wedding day. I was sent by train down from Oregon to settle in The City of Angels when the total population tallied at a mere 5,000 people, not counting the Mexicans and Indians. Our folks had known each other some years back in Iowa where they had been struggling dirt farmers. When the floods came and destroyed their crops, they sought a better life further West.”
“My mother told me,’Don’t worry, Frankie, This will be a good match for you. The way things are now, if you stay here with us you’ll end up an old maid. You’re already nineteen with no prospects in sight. It’s time for you to leave the family and begin your own life.’ ”
“Abe’s father met me at the train station in a buggy. He took me directly to their ranch which was surrounded by acres of corn and Lima beans. I was pleased by the sight of what appeared to be a successful farm. I knew what my life would be like – working from dawn to late in the night cooking, cleaning, sewing, washing, raising babies, as well as helping in the fields when needed, but I wasn’t prepared for the relations I was about to have with my new husband.”
“I wore a burgundy dress with a high buttoned collar that I made myself for the occasion. Abe wore a three piece grey suit with his father’s gold watch on a chain. We were married without so much as a ‘How do you do?’ under a canopy of dusty roses near the house. Abe’s father was a Baptist minister. He performed the ceremony. Everything had been taken care of. We had a nice dinner of fried chicken, potatoes, Lima beans, corn, and biscuits. Someone had made a cake. There was no dancing or singing, but Abe’s brother did play a nice fiddle.”
“After the wedding, Abe took me to the little three room wooden shack that was to be our first home. He was a nice looking man, big and stout with a moustache. I’m sure he didn’t think much of me at first, I was a scrawny little mouse of a woman with not much education. I only made it through grade eight.”
“I was truly afraid as I undressed and put on my high collared long-sleeved cotton nightgown to prepare for what I knew was coming next. I lay down anxious with fear under the white quilted coverlet. Abe knew what he was doing. He came at me like a hungry tiger. It was never fulfilling for me, more like being raped… I always regarded it as a necessary duty.”
“Abe was against my views on Women’s Suffrage, Christian Science, and Abstinence. He beat me and burned my books several times. But he was a hard worker, a good provider, and I did come to love him as a partner and the father of my seven children.” #GigiStory
Part 1 of 3
(First published 3/7/13)
