So what is this? Your masturbation closet? In a few short years she had learned a thing or two about men. The first being that they had certain proclivities. In college she took the room right next to the bathroom thinking, “Oh how convenient this will be!” She had her own door into the chamber.
This move turned out to be a mistake. She heard every fart, whistle, and bell go off between those thin walls. It got so she could tell who was in there by the tone of their grunts or the pitch of their cough and spit. Oh my GOD! They’re spitting on the floor in the shower! That and the other thing… and the OTHER THING!!
grunt, grunt, grunt
groan, fart
uh, uh, uh, uh
aaahhhh!
psssss…
That was it! From now on, she was wearing flip flops in the shower! There were things on the floor! Nasty things that should be in a tissue in the trash or down the toilet. She was standing in spit, piss, and cum! DISGUSTING!
Anyway one day she was visiting people up on the second floor and she’s talking to a couple of the guys. They were musicians, well…wannabes, and they’re showing off their axes, riffs, and such. One of the guys goes to the closet to look for something and turns on the light.
The clothes are all pushed to the back and the walls are covered with centerfolds in various poses. There is a bottle of baby lotion and a some Kleenex sitting on a stack of shoe boxes in the corner. Oddly, a small nylon noose hangs in isolation above a stool which serves as a buffer to the closely hung clothes at the back of the closet.
“Oh, so is that your masturbation closet?” she asks innocently just by way of observation, no judgement intended.
The two boys were horrified to be found out like this, but also titillated, “Heh, heh, she said masturbation.” One boy was truly indignant (Further proof as to the closet’s true identity, as far as she is concerned.)
“Hey, don’t mind me,” she began, ‘I hear you in the shower every morning.”
grunt, grunt
groan, fart
uh, uh, uh, uh
ahhhhh…
psssssss
“…and you!” she stared at the other Bozo in the duo, “ I heard you ask your girl friend if you could stick your soapy finger up her ass and wash her butt! So don’t act all uppity around me! Is this your masturbation closet or not? Get over it, because if it is, I want to watch.”
(First published 11/12/13)
