She once spent twelve hours in New Orleans that seemed like a week. Kristie jumped in the old white Pontiac and headed ‘cross country with $300, a satchel, and a sleeping bag.
She was accompanied by two friends – one six foot drag queen in a blonde wig and heels and a James Dean type in jeans and a leather jacket who was bi-sexual and a recent attraction of hers. They drove all night and into the next day taking turns at the wheel eating in little out of the way truck stops and diners…. It seemed to take forever to get across Texas.
They drove, windows down, country music blaring on the only radio station they could get. Queenie, dressed in drag, kept hiking her skirt up to show the truckers in the next lane that she had a little something extra for them. Smiling enthusiastically at first, every one of them got a kind of sick shocked look on their face as they sped away. They were more interested in the hippie chick sitting in the back seat: long reddish hair wearing blue bell bottoms, a low cut blue shirt, buffalo sandals, and a fringed leather poncho.
With a second day beard growth showing through his make-up, Queenie looked pretty haggard. At one little cafe they were a bit terrified of the crowd as they eyed him suspiciously. They hurriedly slurped up their grits and eggs and got the heck out of there.
They hit New Orleans,the second day on the road. It was just getting dark and they were getting tired. They decided to all go separate ways. Kristie wanted some straight action and the guys were looking in other directions. She went into the nearest bar and ordered a beer. She realized that she was exhausted and needed to sleep, so she went back out to the car, rolled down the windows about six inches, put her money and passport in her bra and fell asleep.
She woke up sometime later to someone forcing their arm into the open window and stealing Queenie’s purse out of the front seat. Luckily all that was in it was make-up as he had changed into straight clothes and taken his wallet with him. Kristie pretended to be asleep. When the thief left, she got out of the car and went back into the bar where she struck up a conversation with a few people there.
It was a neighborhood place and the people were very friendly. One of the guys offered his apartment for her to sleep and shower. People on the river are friendly and happy to give. It was a typical French quarter apartment; small with wrought iron gates and purple bougainvillea growing in a little stone courtyard. She stayed there for a few hours sleeping. Then she showered, ate some cold spaghetti out of the frig, and went back to the bar.
The bar was low key; juke box, darts, smoke-filled…the bartender was just her type: bearded and a little large around the middle. She stayed until he closed the place, talking to the other customers and sipping her beer. When he locked the door they did the deed ON the bar, hugged goodbye, and then she went out into the early morning to find her friends.
She was standing where the car should have been when James Dean approached about fifteen minutes later than agreed upon. Queenie had taken off with the car without them and left them stranded. What a bitch!
Sitting in a circular courtyard in the decaying Old South, graveyard nearby – you could smell the dead seeping up through the cracks in the sidewalks- cockroaches run in herds across the street…. Fantasy: little saddles, little riders and herders for the bugs! Robbed, dumped, stoned, drunk, and screwed in New Orleans.
Well, what could they do? They found the nearest road out of town and began hitch hiking to Florida. People were locking their doors, rolling up their windows and looking at the two counter culture types with extreme distaste. They called them “hippies” under their breath, and told their children to cover their eyes as if expecting some magical negative influence just by looking at them. They did manage to get some good rides with truckers mostly.
They spent some time in Jacksonville where they stayed with a bi-sexual couple in their apartment. The pregnant wife and Kristie slept in the living room while their partners hooked up in the bedroom.
When they finally caught up with Queenie, he had been shaved, dressed in Army fatigues, and arrested for being AWOL. As they got their stuff out of the car, Kristie couldn’t resist saying in a tacky voice, “Oh Mother, look what they’ve done to you now.”
The MP with him couldn’t stifle a smile and a chuckle. James Dean gave her a shush and an elbow. “He could get in trouble.” (Ha! Like he isn’t already?) They said their goodbyes and good luck, stuck their thumbs out, and headed for New York.
(First published 8/8/11)
