“Oh My God!” Kristie declared in disgust. “What have you done? Is there a mess in your drawers?”
Jack laughed, “Silent, but deadly!”
Kristie got out the air freshener and doused the room liberally. The spray really had no effect. “You outta name that one, since it seems like it’s gonna be with us awhile.”
“I think I’ll call it Ralph or Raunch,” Jack joked.
“At least mine don’t stink! They’re loud, but they don’t smell that bad.”
“Kinda like a hot muffin… a little fruity.” Jack was full of himself.
This playful teasing developed spontaneously on one of their first dates. They were at one of Jack’s favorite dives just out of town, a greasy spoon that served gut bomb burgers, fries, and chili.
“Do you want onions on these?” the cook asked as he slapped two burgers down on the grill.
They looked at each other, smiled, and said “Yes!” simultaneously. Ever since then, garlic, onions, hot sauce, beans and anything gaseous or combustible was allowed.
“If our breath gets too bad, we can always skip first base and go directly to second,” Kristie joked. She really didn’t care if Jack attached himself to her nipples permanently no matter what.
“But please, no farting during 69!” They both agreed as they bit into the big juicy burgers smothered in onions.
(First published 2/1/12)
