Youngest Brother moved in with Dad after Mom moved out to become his new co-dependent. Since Youngest Brother was on drugs, this relationship proved to be mutually defeating. Brother would go get Dad’s liquor. Dad would get drunk and browbeat him about what a lazy drug addict he was. Brother would get loaded and complain about what a drunk Dad was. And the cycle continued for a year until Brother decided to commit himself to a rehab center.
That’s when things started to fall apart and Dad’s condition worsened. With no one there to clean him up or feed him, he just kept on drinking and lying in his self-made dungeon. Eldest Daughter handled her own role in this drama by not ” living ” her father’s death. To her he had been dead a long time.
She moved out of the house exactly when she was eighteen. She had been waiting to move out since she was twelve. It had been a long prison sentence that focused on her as the scapegoat.
One of her earliest memories concerning alcohol was when she was about eight. He and a friend of his had just been given promotions at their respective companies. They had been drinking champagne and throwing the glasses into the fireplace.
They were quite taken with themselves and began to brag about it. The women were noticeably upset by this showboating and began asking to break up the party. That meant driving home.
Father was certainly in no shape to drive. But he wouldn’t hear of anyone else taking the wheel. Eldest Daughter kneeled fearfully in the backseat sensing that something was wrong. When they made it home, he forced everyone into one of the bedrooms and started going off about how, “I am the King of this House!” and “Everyone has to do what I say! … and if I want you to stay up all night, you’ll just have to….”
Eldest Daughter was so afraid that she ran out under his arm and grabbed The Bible and locked herself in the bathroom. She started reading passages to calm herself. Mother was crying and begging Father to stop. Auntie, who was staying with them had recently converted to Catholicism, began saying a Rosary. Eldest Daughter was sitting on the edge of the bathtub crying and trying to read passages her grandmother had marked for her praying for some end to this conflict.
“Open this door right now!” She heard her Father demand. In her frustration she could not unfasten the lock and after many attempts, Father had to come in through the window to unlock the bathroom door. At least after the rescue from the locked door, things calmed down. Father stopped being aggressive and they all went to bed. (Role of Scapegoat played to perfection).
(First published 11/2/12)
