Of all the cooks she had worked with, Rickie was the oddest. Kristie was working the dump shifts; graveyard weekdays, weekend swing shifts. The Friday and Saturday swing shifts could be good but the weekday graveyard was murder. It was so slow that the hours seemed to drip by like a Chinese torture.
Rickie had a good disposition. “How about I make us some burgers and fries to pass the time?” She hesitated to say, “Yes,” because she knew what she’d be getting. He was heavy handed on the oil which he ladled onto the grill before putting on the burgers. They were essentially boiling in oil. The fries would be fried twice to get the extra crunchy bite that everyone likes.
She had been trying to diet again and the thought of plunking down a thousand calories of fat and cholesterol in the wee hours of the morning threw her metabolism into caveman mode. She did better if she stayed hungry throughout the night. The hunger helped keep her awake in the hours before dawn when there weren’t many customers to take her mind off her aching feet and the overwhelming desire to sleep.
Rickie was pleasant enough, but he had some disgusting habits that plagued her. His hair was greasy and his complexion was disgusting. Pimples and acne all over his face and back and a blazing peeling rash on his hands and torso for starters. Then there was the priapism. He walked around with his apron bulging out from the pressure of an erection that just wouldn’t go down no matter how much sex he had.
He wasn’t interested in Kristie since he was gay, but he quickly tried to fit in with her gay friends. He was a regular at Mother Teddy’s house and dropped in on her lesbian friends, Cyn and Roller Girl, occasionally. She had walked in on him in the back of Alice’s giving head to anyone who was willing and jerking off afterwards. Even his prick was disgusting – bright red with the same rash he had on his hands and back.
There was a party at Teddy’s house after the bars closed. Kristie showed up just after her shift with Rickie in tow. “This means so much to me,” Rickie said as they got out of the car and walked the short path back to Mother Teddy’s little house.
Most of they guys were already asleep in various nooks and crannies around the house. Teddy was in bed with and old man he had picked up that night. Two guys shared the couch sleeping curled up on either end like little Hobbits, someone else slept in the recliner… A couple of people were still up talking and smoking in the kitchen.
“Hey,” they called out to anyone who would hear them. The house stirred in the early morning light as some of the guys woke up to see who had just come in. Queenie eyed Rickie and decided to give him a shot. The next thing Kristie knew she was in the middle of an anal sex scene that she hadn’t planned on witnessing.
It was always funny to her that queens had the biggest pricks. Queenie took Rickie over the back of the couch for about twenty minutes while the rest of the house gathered in the kitchen for coffee and cigarettes like nothing was going on in the next room.
Queenie, in the remnants of her drag face, was really giving it to him. Rickie was screaming out his show of approval with lots of grunts and moans. Queenie reached around to take Rickie’s purple peeling prick into his hand. Rickie called out one final time before shooting it on Teddy’s drapes. Just then Teddy came out and disparaged, “Now I’m gonna have to get those cleaned, damn-it! Give me some coffee.”
Rickie apologized and began wiping up the mess. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “You don’t know how much this means to me… That was so sweet of Queenie.” Queenie looked like a monster with his wig off and his eyes smudged with mascara and eye shadow, but to Rickie, she looked beautiful.
Queenie ran quickly into the bathroom where they could hear her retching while simultaneously running the water for a bath. She looked like the handsome man she really was beneath her drag face when she reappeared fresh as a daisy.
Rickie’s erection wouldn’t go down, so several hours later when Kristie was sleeping, they ended up taking him to the hospital. She was glad she only heard about it. She would have hated to see what they had to do to get that ugly monster to subside.
(First published 8/6/12)
