We loved family camping trips in the summer: camping, water sports, swimming, BBQ’s. So, we decided to rent a houseboat! The kids were getting older – teenagers, so we encouraged them to each invite a friend along.
The girls, older and more suave than their younger male counterparts took full advantage of the sunbathing, lounging aspect of the trip. The boys really liked the idea of driving the boat even though they weren’t legally old enough. And, of course, everyone wanted to try the jet skis!
It was so beautiful up at the lake – clear cold water- you could see the tree tops like in a mirror. We had BBQ every night and we had KP duties one and all, just like in Scouts. We even sang those corny songs like “We’re on the Upward Trail” and “Sippin’ Cider Through a Straw.” We played cards and games, roasted marshmallows – the whole bit.
The houseboat had two full-sized pull out beds in the living room area, two bunk beds in the hall, and a full master suite at the bow. But it was so hot that nobody wanted to sleep inside. So we parked in the marina the first night and settled in for the evening.
The place was packed. You could probably walk from boat to boat all around the crescent shaped docking area. As the night wore on, things quieted down – mostly… except for one boat.
One very large three story luxury boat was not about to settle down. They were there to party! Their music was blaring, girls were screaming, guys were all talking too loud like jocks in a game of football. They kept jumping off their boat into the water – some from the first deck, some from the second deck, and some idiots from the third deck.
Every time someone jumped, they all screamed, applauded, cheered, yelled, and as if that wasn’t enough, blew an air horn! Blah-a-at!! So it got later and later and even they began to settle down somewhat, but just as everyone is beginning to fall asleep, they start up again. Screaming, yelling, music blaring, jumping, blah-ting…
Now it’s about 3:00 AM or so, and I’ve about had it. No one expects what happens next. I get up and right away the kids ask, “Mom, what are you gonna do?” Their eyes are wide with anticipation.
I stomp over to the edge of the prow and lean over and shout in the loudest husky mezzo soprano anyone has ever heard … I mean I am really, really loud! “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”
The whole marina bursts into cheering and hooting, applause, the air horn Blah-a-at!! Everyone is glad that someone has done what they all wanted to do. Even the kids, who were at first totally embarrassed, were proud of their old mom. I must say that single episode has to be my crowning glory as a performer. It was like getting a standing ovation! Everyone was asleep in fifteen minutes.
(First published 10/13/11)
