Timothy was having a ball on the houseboat trip! He loved driving the boat, but while the other kids wanted to listen to Prince or Two Live Crew, he wanted to play Phantom of the Opera full tilt. The driver got to choose the music and it was his turn. It was kind of cool to blare the chorus of Phantom while riding the wakes on a jet ski.
He sat prim and proper with his legs together, posture perfect, but that grin on his face said it all. Timothy was having a blast going the speed limit, while the other kids jumped the wakes and skirmished around like full speed dare devils.
Papa and Mama wanted some alone time, so they dropped the kids off to hike and explore some rock formations and an elusive cave. The old man drove the boat out some 500 yards from shore and set the anchor.
While the adults were gettin’ busy on the boat, the kids saw a rattlesnake. Timothy is scared witless and climbs down to sit on a rock close to shore with his feet together and his hands clasped in his lap. He calmly waits for the boat to come back, while the rest of the kids continue to explore the top of the hill looking for the cave.
The old lovers finish their business and return the boat to pick up the youthful explorers. They all have to wait for the more adventurous climbers to descend. Later that evening Timothy takes a long hot shower and comes out of the bathroom with his head wrapped dramatically in a towel turban and his body covered with a white terry cloth robe to prevent a chill.
He has lathered his entire body with a whole tube of Ben Gay. He totally reeks and everyone is almost retching from the over-powering scent of the pink cream. “I’ve had such a hard day,” he explains, “and my muscles are aching.”
“Does anyone know what happened to the red licorice?” Mama asks. The gallon jug of licorice they bought to last for the week is sitting on the counter empty except for three leftover strands. Timothy looked sheepish.
“I didn’t realize that I had eaten the whole jar until it was almost gone,” he says. “I saved you a few of them.”
Everyone is incredulous that someone could actually eat a whole gallon of licorice by themselves in one day, but they all laugh. Papa serves up some juicy burgers, but they threaten Timothy with another shower if he doesn’t wipe some of that Ben Gay shit off and reduce the assault of the noxious cream interfering with the aroma of the burgers.
(First published 4/29/12)
